Puzzled~Jo

2006-03-14T23:52:00.000+08:00

im in a way.. proud.. sad.. worried.. about my paddle.
haiz.
please tell me it is good.. and waters @ kallang and lower seletar.. please be kind to him..

2006-03-10T11:03:00.000+08:00

when im in camp. i think about home.
when im at home. i think about camp.

im too freaking bored.
cos i have nothing to do.
and i hate slacking. haha.
like real.

im bored!

2006-03-05T02:37:00.000+08:00

04-03-2006
@ 16:15

my new baby had HIS first touch of de waters @ kallang.
really thanks loads to Hid, Esther, Jas & Jil!
LOVE it loads!

and really suddenly @ Russ's place.

im suddenly not really tat afraid of dogs le. :)

2006-03-03T20:18:00.000+08:00

01-03-2006 came and went.
and in a way, it really felt like any other day.

but...
de morning started out GREAT!

having de 41st WOCC passing out parade.
everyone say we did very well lor! haha.
and i must say that im very proud of all de gals!
cos we manage to march in full of pride and honour.
despite all those horrible blisters and abrasions tat we were suffering from de 24km route march de night b4.

after de parade and all.
more or less.
there were lots of sorrow and saddness.
which i cant explained.

maybe cos i was really tired out.
or maybe cos. i was really disappointed.
cos in a way. i was really expecting at least an SMS.
de past 6 yrs, all my birthdays were with him.
but on de 21st. when we had talked so much about it.
and yet. he isnt here no more.
but yeah. i promise tat i would let all these go.
with de wind.
it is harder than it seems.

so now. de 2 weeks well deserved break!
followed by de 2 weeks common leadership term which we would all be confine in camp!
and den most of us would go to our own service.
to MIDS, de navy would go.
to AIR, de air force would go.
back to SIERRA, de army would go.
de SMS? i hope all get to stay. esp. 'bing bing biang biang'
*prays*

2006-02-26T10:44:00.000+08:00

i have nt been updating for awhile already.
and lots has happened.

i would be passing out on de 1st of march.
and it would also be my 21st birthday.
and i think it would be de SADDEST birthday ever!

wad de heck!

im feeling total crap now.
cos de ppl that i wan to come to my passing out parade would not be coming.
and de ppl that i DUN wan to come, would be coming in full force.
fustration lah!

and i just went to friendster.
and found out that most likely 'he' has gotten married or engaged or something la.
hai. y m i still feeling so crappy?!

2006-02-12T12:16:00.000+08:00

lotsa shit happening.
thou glad that im still doing well in camp at all.
but a large part of me wanna be out there.
with de ppl that i so wanna be with.
be it with aunt or de gals.

confused....

2006-01-22T09:56:00.000+08:00

i won't say anymore army stories.
but will say de times when i was alone in camp and miss my family and friends so..

i won't say how tough training was.
but how de whole platoon supported each other thru.

finally got to row yesterday.
exchanging my rifle for a paddle.
time passes fast.. very fast..

week 4 coming up now.
and it was just like yesterday when i got enlisted.

2006-01-10T01:01:00.000+08:00

first book out @ 2130.
going home has NEVER EVER felt so good lor!
haha.
just in case u r interested!
yeah! im still alive!
when i tot that i would not even survivie de first day!

everyday have been going well.
looking forward to more.

but i miss rowing lotsa.

booking in @ 1800 tmr.
maybe i would try to sneak to sch for awhile.
but.. doubt anyone would be there.

got so many many stories to share!
hai. sleepy le.
3 hours pass by bed time.
night

2006-01-03T06:45:00.000+08:00

im leaving.
3 weeks later.
i wanna row.
those who tot tat they've gotten rid of me.
sad to say.
im still here to bug.
muahhahahahahaha..

im scared.
jo.

2005-12-27T13:14:00.000+08:00

maggie mee feast was a 'disaster'.
cos de maggie mee tat eileen and deb prepared... was..... .......
Hahahahahaha...
But for someone who don't even know whether to put in de noodles before or after the water is boiled.. in a way.. it was quite alright lah.
hahahhahahahahahaha..

chilled.. and watched this movie.. but now i cannot rem de title..

thanks to camay, hid, jas, deb, van, kethy, eileen and mei for coming.
in a way.. u would never know how much it means to me lah.

and thank you jas for de 'too small' slippers lor..

next week, this time, i would not longer have de privilegde to slack and chill le.

diaoz. so exciting.. yet in a way.. scary..

2005-12-23T21:14:00.000+08:00

mummy went on a shopping spree...
and bought us each a watch..
so nice right??
now.. im feeling de x'mas spirit of giving..
hahahahahaha.

i got de oldest design lor..
de other 2 buggers got de latest arrival shits.
but im not complaining eh.
de last time i receive a watch from mummy..
was when.... i was in primary 6, i think...
my first Baby G den...

think ah boy's watch ROCKS de most...
right, hid?

mummy den brought us to dinner..
to celebrate gu-ni's 12 birthday.. hai..
so lucky...
my 21st would be in BMT.. haha.

2005-12-22T22:19:00.000+08:00

recall: IPPT day

kylie was there to make sure that i would be doing my sit and reach 'properly'. i know that she would be there. but i had a surprise visitor. jasmine. she came cos she read my blog and know that i would be taking my test den.

kylie left earlier for work. jasmine stayed till i finished de run and everything. in a way, it didn meant something to me.

recall: interview day

de 11 of us were waiting outside de room. to be 'slaughtered'. den suddenly de green top gal turn over to ask me LOUDLY: was that ur gf tat came down on IPPT day?

Jo: WAD??!!??!!!!! Hahahahahahaha.

Gotta admit that that question really wake me up! haha.

SUPER STRAIGHT, ok??!!

i still drool over cute guys lor..
i m still waiting lor.. hahahahahaha.

super DIAOZ!!!..

2005-12-21T19:19:00.000+08:00

DB gals.
this is an open invitation.
to have dinner together before i enter BMT.

date: 24-12-2005
time: 1900
venue: my place
things to bring: ur own choice of instant noodles
things i would provide: hot boiling water

deal?
RSVP!
limited places only!

or would boxing day be a better deal??

2005-12-20T15:42:00.000+08:00

priceless phone call yeah.
no one would be able to understand de kind of HAPPINESS de.
de kind where u prove something to urself.
haiz. im on cloud 9!!

call mummy first. haha.
de moment she heard my voice. i could feel her excitment too.
hahaha. could tell she was very happy for me lah. hahaha.

den call papa. cos i wan him to come and fetch me home.
haha. den he treat me to breakfast.
couldnt rem de last time he brought me for breakfast lor.
must be AGES ago lahz..

den call junie and ah boy.. hahaha.
ah boy dun believe me lor.
when he finally believe. he was so glad.. cos he would be finally taking over my room and my com. wad an ass right? haha.
junie sounded sad. haha. i would miss this bitch de most i think. haha.

den start to SMS.. esther. hid. jas. za. ade. camay. kylie. haida.
hahahahaha. most of them replied. all of them who replied.
only stupid ade who replied shit lor.
hahahahahahahahahahaha.
she didnt know that if i didn't get in. i would go commit suicide or something de lor. hahahahahahahha..

i really tot that nothing would dampen my mood today. nothing at all.
i decided to take a bus home. de bus tat WE always take after school. passed by his house. and diaoz..
i really saw him. or rather i tot i did.
i faster alight. and walk quickly to him. thinking of wad i wanted to say to him.
but when tat guy turn ard. so diaoz. it wasnt meant to be.
and my heart was beating real quick and hard.

i really tot tat everything was over le lor.
but i doubt so eh.
maybe like wad hid say. i would nv totally let it go de lah.
haha. but nvm, now i have someone else to drool over. shahrukh khan.
hahahahahahha. hid hates him now. so she gave him to me!
HOORAY!!!!

2005-12-11T13:14:00.000+08:00

to those.. who might.. have taken.. their eyes.. off the goal.. and see obstacles..

Taken from a book by Michael Jordon..

I had always set short-term goals. As I look back, each one of those
steps or successes led to the next one. When I got cut from the
varsity team as a sophomore in high school, I learned something.

I knew I never wanted to feel that bad again. I never wanted to have
that taste in my mouth, that hole in my stomach.

So I set a goal of becoming a starter on the varsity. That's what I
focused on all summer. When I worked on my game, that's what I
thought about. When it happened, I set another goal, a reasonable,
manageable goal that I could realistically achieve if I worked hard
enough.

Each time I visualized where I wanted to be, what kind of player I
wanted to become.

I guess I approached it with the end in mind. I knew exactly where I
wanted to go, and I focused on getting there. As I reached those
goals, they built on one another. I gained a little confidence every
time I came through.

So I had built up the confidence that I could compete at North
Carolina. It was all mental for me. I never wrote anything down. I
just concentrated on the next step.

game for it?

2005-12-09T01:31:00.000+08:00

i don't want a lot for christmas
there is just one thing i need
i don't care about the presents
underneath the christmas tree
i just want you for my own
more than you could ever known
make my wish come true
all i want for christmas, is you

2005-12-04T10:59:00.000+08:00

it may seem easy for some to say.
but deep down. we all know. after all tat we've been thru.
it would be quite impossible.

i doubt my worth.
for now. i feel that there isnt a reason anymore.
but most likely, they would be better off without me.
an additional 6 months with them had been a fulfilling one.
esp during sava and the regatta.
this is a high time to let go and let them fly higher.
for all we know. they might achieve better without us.

shall wish them all the best in de up coming events.

seeing ah boy go into shock and then hyperventilating scared the shit out of me.
never once in my life, i stare at both fear and death so closely.
i really tot that i would lose him den.
not knowing wad to do. i call dad.
but his heck-care attitude pissed me off.
and the next option was to call an ambulance.
i didnt want to alarm mummy.
for fear of making her worried. or rather.
i m afriad of the blames and scoldings that sure will to come.

they came. looked at him.
and assured that he would be fine. and left.

after this very dramatic incident.
which i most likely would remember for life.
de 3 of us have become closer.
and really a lesson about not taking the people around us for granted.
for we really so never know. when would they be leaving us.
or. when i would be leaving you.

NAPFA test this coming wednesday. 7am. Toa Payoh Stadium.
Wish me all de best. PLEASE!
followed by the selection board.
and if everything does go well.
i would be gone for 9 months. starting 3 Jan.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
Let me get into this one!

it's time to go.
btw, i've quit my job.

2005-11-27T22:46:00.000+08:00

23th singapore river regatta.
the end.
it was a well fought event.
losses and wins.
i don't have to write them now.
cos i believe each and everyone of us would rem it for life.

be it de ivps. or de opens.
each set i believe was a good set.
but yet. there is still SO MUCH more rooms for improvement.

it seems that we would do well in races which we have not much confidence in winning. but stumble at races which we have been trg so hard for.
alot more of us to learn.
seniors. juniors. all of us.

is de plan feasible?
it is yet again so far yet so near eh.
hai.

after race dinner was .... .... ....
no mood to eat.
maybe cos MOST of them didnt bath lah.
so they were like really really STINKY eh.
decided to battle it out with ade over 5 'potong' to prevent myself from wearing the pink dress. and it ended up with blisters and many ulcers in my mouth lor.
and not forgetting all IMAGE lost!
but still.. haha.. i don't have to wear the pink dress in front of them liao lor.
YEAH!

2005-11-23T23:30:00.000+08:00

xanadu and vanessa have PISSED me off!
and i don't want to speak to them ever again!

2005-11-21T22:08:00.000+08:00

surf de web.
came across a video showing de strokes of de indo DB national team.
sweet man.
without coxswain. 22 rowers going at at least 100 - 110 strokes per min.
and i think they can go quite straight.

pre race anxiety.
this time round. it's quite different. i think.

i hate myself.
for not being able to set my mind on de things that i want.

womens open.
mixed open.
mixed feelings.

2005-11-21T18:23:00.000+08:00

it's sad to see them like that.
hopfully they would see some light soon.

working !sucks! more as de days go by.

dreams..

2005-11-17T13:23:00.000+08:00

NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP
(MEN - 20 CREW)
TOTAL : 37 TEAMS

NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS
(MIXED - 20 CREW)
TOTAL : 31 TEAMS

TERTIARY
(MEN - 20 CREW)
TOTAL : 9 TEAMS

NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP
(WOMEN - 10 CREW)
TOTAL : 44 TEAMS

TERTIARY
(WOMEN - 10 CREW)
TOTAL : 7 TEAMS

a significant increase in competitors.
44 in de womens open.
and de ivp womens sucks!
cos they have to row one extra race just to kick out 1 team.

it may just make de win sweeter.

2005-11-14T10:48:00.000+08:00

sunday's trg was ARGH!
lots of shit! right from de run. till de very end.
and maybe cos my head was spinning was hell.
from de lack of sleep?!

it's has been long ago, since we rowed in fustration.
2 weeks to de race... how NOT nice..

went home to bath.
wanna zzzzz.. but also wanna meet up with de gals for dinner.
took a bus there. and fell asleep TWICE.
woke up cos esther keep msging me lor.
didn't regret going to dinner.

and those 'hungry-ghost' are VERY QUIET when they are eating.
haha. scary lor!
dinner was good.
but desert was SWEET!

9 of us squeezing onto 6 chairs lor.
alright secret 9 it would be.
sweet.. sweet.. sweet..

we can just CLICKED so well.
have U wonder y?
is it really be cos U r not showing ur REAL u?
or is it that UR real U just can't CLICKED with us lor.
*shrugs*

and got a disturbing msg from esther after i reached home.
and it is WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF!
all thanks to urself. u r now a freaking sucker!
keep ur bloody mouth shut!
ARGH!!!!!!!!
basket!

2005-11-07T00:22:00.000+08:00

**** looks like inuyasha.
therefore this blog template.
hid! i dun care!
**** confirm looks like inuyasha lah!

2005-11-06T23:56:00.000+08:00

*smiles* *smiles*
thanks hid for de info.
thanks for making me feel better.
at least for awhile lah.

it feels like sweet 17 again.
haha. if only.

pisces
[feb 20 - mar 20]
Your romantic stars are at once extraordinarily profound and very specific. One of the most rewarding things you can do it write letters and make phone calls, all with the intention of renewing contacts with people you love.
At work, a setback is followed by a rapif advance, so don't be knocked off course.

quite true in a way.
so should i or should i NOT?

2005-11-02T22:35:00.000+08:00

miserable jo.
ask me and i would tell u why.

2005-11-01T13:14:00.000+08:00

i want to be ur super hero..

2005-11-01T01:13:00.000+08:00

Jo Ang says:
somethings.... i m nt saying wad my heart is telling me too.
▫▪▫hullo▫▪▫™ says:
so.....
▫▪▫hullo▫▪▫™ says:
haha
Jo Ang says:
i think i want to be stubborn in some situation.
▫▪▫hullo▫▪▫™ says:
i noe...
Jo Ang says:
cos i m tired of being...... ....
Jo Ang says:
i dunno la. haha.
Jo Ang says:
u know can le la.
Jo Ang says:
no need to say out de.
Jo Ang says:
sianz lor.
Jo Ang says:
haha.
▫▪▫hullo▫▪▫™ says:
can see dt
▫▪▫hullo▫▪▫™ says:
owkies
▫▪▫hullo▫▪▫™ says:
hee

2005-11-01T00:40:00.000+08:00

off day.
meet van and by right camay.
but by left. camay decided to oversleep.
so only me and van lor.

and that woman can irritate de shit out of me de lor.
anyway.. accompany her to buy her nano lah.

den waited for at least 1 hour for de rest of the gals to arrive @ yck to go to zisky hse.
de bus journey was damn bloody long lor.

there was tis guy sitting beside me.
and he was happy DIGGING his nose lor.
from de corner of my eye, i caught him looking at MY nano.
and den he say excuse me. and mumbled something and pointed at my nano.
panic attack!
he just dug his nose. no way! no way!
quickly looked out from de window. and try to act blur.
he keep saying excuse me. and wave abit.
quickly... pretend to sleep!! haha.
in de end.. i fell asleep.

later.. xan say that that guy looked pissed..
haha. heck lah!

sat at de swing @ zisky's hse.
and when i say all night long.
i really meant all night long lor.
haha. only finally get up when we were leaving.

went over to mos burger @ TPY.
cos some of us didn't have anything over at his place.
haha.
crapped somemore.

going thru de photos of de previous races.
and there are some faces which i haven seen in a while.
some ppl who i haven talked to in a while..

jil and hid!
you're it!
missing ya...............

2005-10-31T12:14:00.000+08:00

sea trg yesterday was better den last week.
something must be fixed. but i dunno wad is de something.

gals came over to my place. to celebrate ade's BD.
diaoz. freaking noisy lor. haha. cos ppl like ESTHER, JANE and DEBORAH were freaking loud lor. haha.
camay and hid didn't come.
but i will have 2nd tots, if i were to have another one over at my place eh. haha.
camay made junie sad cos she didnt come.

alot of secrets shared.
and there is a new club in de team.
secret seven seh. haha. not bad eh?

glad that ade like her present and all lah.

to you:
thanks for de calender and de note.
although all this sucks.
but i have yet to find a way to calm those nerves.
and to be normal yet again.

2005-10-29T11:35:00.000+08:00

after work yesterday. when to ah boy's sch to get his results.
bugger ass. failed 3.
talked to his teachers.
and de teachers nowadays are all still so.... .... ....

anyway, went over to popular to get his books and all.
den mummy suddenly say why not go over to sim lim.
cos she wants to get a mp3 player for boy.
like wad de toot right.
so we went over to sim lim lor.

den in de midst of choosing something for boy.
i casually asked de sales girl to bring de ipod nano to show mummy.
and guess wad?!
haha.

mummy tell ah boy not to buy his creative nano.
but to get de ipod nano.
haha. super duper shiok!
and i made a pact with boy.
he give me nano. i give him my hp!

shoik!!
so now.. i dun need de zang zang list le.
i've got my nano le! hahahahahahahahaha!
va-ni-sa! *smiles*

so tat is de reason y i was late meeting de gals.
soup spoon too cramped for my liking.
but stilll alright lah.
crapped and talked all de way to 12.
someone even missed her last train.
haha. suai lah!

basket ppl.
tot can work night shift next week and get more $$.
but as expected. they changed my shift off.
buggers rules!

2005-10-27T01:27:00.000+08:00

watched flightplan alone.
it rocks. go watch it!

walked around.

miss his smell.
bought de perfume he used to use.

mentally exhausted.

tot i've recovered.
apparently, not.

when?

2005-10-24T23:29:00.000+08:00

ANTM ROCKS!!!!!
haha. i love Naima lah.
thou already knew de winner from E1.
but. it's still so exciting seeing how it turns out eh.

rowing... was alright.... haha.
i hate being behind.
it just sucks eh.
i dun wan to get used to tat feeling.
no one should.
cant wait to kick some ass.
but F! leave still nt approved.

dinner @ de prata place.
now i got a new place to go for dinner le.
i think that place rocks.
so quiet. so cooling.
good food i think.
but STOPID too many meows lah.
haha.

those buggers cant decide where they want to go.
and it was only till last night that i rem that we actually plan to go to JB lor.
and tat was supposed to be before sava and even b4 de fasting month.
all bad planners!
haiZ.

work totally sucks today!
freakin busy like nobody's business.
for a min, i just wanted to shout @ all de doctors to STOP admitting de patients lor!
ARGH!
but on de bright side! i've got my pay!
YEAH! **SMILES** **SMILES**

2005-10-24T22:45:00.000+08:00

nothing much to say.
blogging for de sake of blogging.
life's boring!

2005-10-19T13:49:00.000+08:00

collaspe onto bed after work on tues' morning.
shouldn't have go to JB with mummy after work on mon morning.
48 hours with no sleep is a killer. plus constant patients admission is a second killer!

ard 4+, actually woke up to prepare for trg.
told myself 5 more mins, den i would go bath.
but de next time when i open my eyes. it was 8.00pm liao lor!
so power eh!

Hai. ADELINE!
u aren't making me jealous lor. haha.
ben dunno smile at me so many thousand times, i also nv get as excited as u lor.
he only smile at u once, den u so hao lian liao eh. haha.

2005-10-17T03:00:00.000+08:00

after reading hid's entry.
was thinking..
at every race. there are bound to be new memories and new records set.

but you gotta admit that it always bring back some old memories.
my first race was @ regetta.
and we got DQ for the IVP event.
and de mixed team collide with another.
all de images still super duper fresh lor.

during regetta, when you first step out from the mrt station and look at the race site. there will DEFINITELY be COLD wind blowing at your face de.
everyone will crowd under UOB plaza for their warm ups.
N-J-C will start doing their psych up excercise: punching into de air thingy.
Sa-Sa-Sa will be heard.
Running to the opposite side of de river.
listening to the start.
blah.. blah.. blah..

out of my 3 yrs of regetta. all these hasn't changed abit.
would this year be any of a difference?

hid.. yes we are!
soon. very soon. haha.
at least let me wait till pay day can.

going to JB with mummy in de morning, after my shift.
after tat, then it will be my last night shift.

hanging in there. sure can one de.........

2005-10-16T18:31:00.000+08:00

night shift SUCKS!
took a quick nap in de more than pathetic small pantry.
when my alarm rang. i was like wad de toot lor.
i just manage to fall asleep.

but still every night SURE got story to see de lor.
tat's de most EXCITING part @ ED lor....

after work.. faster come home and sleep.
work after trg sucks big time!

WAD DE toot is... Whoo SI?!!!

2005-10-14T14:02:00.000+08:00

Hid.
i still think that inuyaha looks like ****
or rather **** looks like inuyasha.

Haha!

sad case. stop de bull talk!

2005-10-13T23:43:00.000+08:00

Hid.
Innuyasha looks abit like **** eh?
Hee.. Hee..

2005-10-13T23:21:00.000+08:00

Vanessa! If you are reading this, means u finally refresh-ed and now can @@ my entries! So.. CONGRATS eh! Haha.

Trg today was in a way quite slack eh. But de run was AWFULLY fast leh.
Somethings better keep to myself den can le.

After trg, had dinner, with the person whose 'intelligence' SURPRISES me! Haha. You know who you are eh. I wun 'ma lu' you here lah. Haha.

And this person super BAD! SHE said that it is Esther and Camay who taught her how to be a bitch. And she label ALOT of ppl in the team as FAT lor.

This kinda team mate so sianz right?

Come on camay, ROLL** your eyes at her!

Hai. One of this day.. i would whack her and let her fly up de SKY!!!

2005-10-13T00:42:00.000+08:00

Just came back from work.
SHAGGED!

Vanessa showed me some asshole blog!
And im like.. wad de toot.. wad de toot..

There is a line tat u cannot crossed.
And if u do.
All de best to u.

We may be smaller.
But when we come together. We would beat you down anytime.

We already show you on the 09-10-2005.
But since you are not convinced.
Watch out for your own ass on 27-11-2005!

You will be eating your own words!

2005-10-12T10:24:00.000+08:00

11-06-2005

09-10-2005

it's just sweeter this time...

2005-10-11T23:31:00.000+08:00

'Dinner' tonight was good.
Enjoyable. Comfortable.

Althought there are still de deafening silence.
Haha.

Blog hop abit.
And i think i would nv get bored from reading entries about the race.

Hid's entry hit de most!
'if u didn't row, you wouldn't know how it feels.
the good sets, the bad sets. the winning sets.'

It just sums it all up.
Nice!

2005-10-10T22:32:00.000+08:00

Sava Sprints International 2005
8 - 9 October 2005

Team NYP ended this event with a NEW HIGH, with NEW HOPES and more than ready atitude to achieve more in SRR.

Saturday
It would be my, or rather, the team's first race without bugger being there for us.
For the semis, shit happen. Gotta admit that i muttered a few 4 letters word under my breathe. But i think it was totally understandable. From a 2nd to a 6th, and out from the cup finals. He was lucky that i didn't whack him and let him fly up the sky eh. Haha.
Like i told some of the gals, it is time like that, that you appreciate bugger the MOST!
Got 2nd for Plate Finals.
At the prize giving, all of us were looking at wad we are going to receive. But in the end, it was just a hand shake and nothing else. Like wad the toot eh.
Took awhile before emotions manage to calm.
Back to school. Bathe. Eat. Slack. Sleep.

Sunday
Decide to cab down for another 30 mins of sleep.
Super duper tired.
After the first few rounds of heats and repecharges, complaints were heard everywhere that we no longer want to row. Gotta admit that arms were already aching during warm up and all. So when we finally went down to row for the Plate Finals, some of us were already half dead. We manage to warm up there earlier, and manage to enjoy de atmosphere for awhile.
Are you ready.
Attention.
Go. *Air horn*
The starting charge was good! Freaking good. Got a good lead.
But bloody K-i-y-a-h was still beside us.
NY leading.
K-i-y-a-h leading.
NY leading.
Wad de heck. How come they coming nearer and nearer to us.
Heard the deafening paddles knocking.
A voice told me, Jo, just whack harder now, pull away from them now!
I guess tat voice told all the girls in the boat.
Cos we did pull away and came in CHAMPS for the plate finals.
Took a quick glimpse at K-i-y-a-h, and correct me if i m wrong, but they looked abit shocked lor. *smiles*

Long long wait....
Xuan was praying that we don't get to row for the 1000m race.
But in a way, i wanted it lor. Hee.
We made it for the SUPER CUP!
Without warm up, after gathering de IDBF paddles from NSF (thanks guys!), we hurry hurry went down. Me, diana, and xuan had a weird face when we saw ivan putting on his life vests. Panic eh!!! Haha.
But wad can we say eh?
Once we launch off, and when we made our first 'nt very small circle', i panic! And at our second 'nt very small circle', i went bizzare! Ivan really scare the SHIT out of me eh. Really! I almost cried. Right at that spot. I would exchange my life just to let Nic cox that race. Haha.
We were at the line up. And off we go.
The starting charge was good, and we left n-us behind. But n-tu and the philiphines has thrown us away too. We were in a good position for 3rd. I smiled. But started to see n-p's dragon head coming up. Tighten my jaw. Throw forward more. And kicked harder. But no. They were still coming up. Wad de toot.
Just pass the last set of buoy. Shoud i call for a early charge? Would Ben call for a early charge? Heck.
Somewhere deep inside, i know de gals still can de! Called for and early charge.
And ta-dang.....
Super Cup 3rd position - NYP!

Apart from rowing, i cox. 2 races. For R-P.
And in exchange, they lent us paddles.
Gotta know another few good people.
And now, we are best friends le lor!

After race, the gals called Ben.
The 'um', 'ya', 'ok' were the words expected, but still heart pain eh. Haha.
But the soft laughter that came shortly after that made up for everything.
And the win suddenly meant soooooo... much more!!

Team and bugger met for dinner.
Comfortable one eh.

Tot i would fall right to sleep once i reach home.
But couldn't, the excitment is still there.
MORE! MORE! MORE!

Feels nice to be able to 'talk' online.
Voice gone.
Felt useless at work.

Oh, btw, the way he sneeze is so freaking cute lor! Haha!
And he was so pai seh about it.
Hai.

2005-10-03T12:14:00.000+08:00

Haven't been updating much.
Simply cos there hasn't been anything much to update about.

Everyday is work. Work. Work.
If work ends early, den trg.
If not, it is back home to my bed.

Will this be the life till the day i say bye bye?
Shitty crap.

Sat & Sun's sea trg went alright.
But can't seeems to be consistent for the 100 strokes thingy.

I think i can keep my cool better nowadays.
But when it comes to rowing.
I still lose it at de slighest thingy.
Ass!
Gotta cool it more.

When we 'lang-ga' into another boat yesterday.
I tot we really in deep shit liao lor.
Cos i saw the other boat cracked OPEN!
But since no one else saw it, den....
It shall be any openly known secret.

If anyone 'bao-toe' me, den i will 'bao-toe' the uncle.
Haha.
EVIL grins** (winks to Hid)

Sunday's trg was like WTF!!!
10 rowers in a BIG boat.
Sudden strong winds. I almost lost control of the boat.
I really tot we would capsize then and there.
And because of the strong winds, my nose really freaking pain can.
The gals were enjoying it. But as i say, that was the first time i felt fear during trg!
It is a better feeling to have bugger coxing the boat.
So much assurance seh.

Looking forward to 8 n 9.
It gave us hope once.
Hope.

2005-09-22T00:17:00.000+08:00

Have I ever told you that I love you?
No.
I do.
Still?
Always.

The things you do while deeply in love, are the things that you will never forget.

2005-09-19T06:30:00.000+08:00

Working night shift is increasingly interesting.
And in a way, FUN!
So.. So.. So.. Many interesting things to see. And learn.

I don't think that there are any happy things to see in ED.
But things that you learn from.

The stories that you hear from de security guards, the senior staffs and the nurses are nothing less than fascinating!

By right, i shouldnt be typing this entry now. But heck lah.
Deprived of sleep. But yet very .. .. .. .. happy?

Oh ya, read Camay's blog.
And some random tots.
Althought things ended on a sour note.
But i hope it affect some of the gals.
To either wake them up or push them to go furthur.

Each D represent something different for us.
Go figure the Ds.

Count Down: 30 mins
To HOME SWEET HOME.

Provided the morning staffs aren't late lor.

2005-09-18T16:43:00.000+08:00

Jil, if you are saying that i m de one who misunderstood.
Just wanna tell u tat i dun think i misunderstand anything.
I know wad de gals want. But they just have not set their minds on doing it.

With the situation yesterday, i tot the seniors should at least talk to the gals.
And i tot be cos i was still there, de seniors didnt know how to start.
So i went off first.

Maybe i shouldnt explain so much.
But.. I think de seniors might be de one who has misunderstand.

Btw, you can go rot for saying all those words.
Sometimes i wonder.. Somethings are just so obvious.
Brainless.

Motto

2005-09-13T13:37:00.000+08:00

It just rock my WORLD!

2005-09-12T19:38:00.000+08:00

once i see high above and its painfully high,
for my nails to even touch it,
only my imagination kissed it,
and i thought the rest is mine when i closed my eyes...

i cannot picture u there, i cannnot picture me standing beside you,
we talked endlessly, we smiled, we laughed,limitlessly,bravely,
but when i open my eyes,i can only feel de breeze,
how i wish at that moment it is that easy...

but then i know, i know how to catch that horizon,
i know i am on my way to run around it,
and i know i'll have them to be with me,to be by my side,
after that, even if the horizon may seem unreachable,i know i'll have them by my side...

i know nothing of reality,this much is true, nothing is real to me,
i know nothing of deceit, of emptiness, cuz everything seems unreal to me,
but when i feel their presence with me,
i sure hope i'm close to touching what is that, high above me...

and when i open my eyes,i'll see them smiling at me,
even if i've tripped and cut myself before,
when i hear them whispering,"it'll be fine...it'll be fine",
i know then, de horizon is the one that needs to catch up with me...

Za.
It should be this way.
But since nothing is real.
Then there is no longer a point.

2005-09-12T07:41:00.000+08:00

I dreamt about..............
I love to say that it was you......
But I'm sorry.........
Actually not that sorry........
Cos I dreamt about............

Can anyone resist it?

2005-09-11T22:33:00.000+08:00

eh. sorry.
it should be.

Are you ready to Nano~?
Nice.

2005-09-11T21:40:00.000+08:00

NANO!!!

PPL! Just look at the damn thing lah!
I am ready to kill for it loh!
Ok.. Maybe.. I m not so ready..

So next on the 'Zang Zang'list.
Make Apple give me one FREE!
And Hid.
And Haida.
And Ain.
And Esther.
And Za.
And Camay.
And Boy.
And Junie.
And Mummy.

Who else?

Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~ Zang~

Are you ready to Zang~?

2005-09-11T21:08:00.000+08:00

I wan to have a Neuralyzer!!

Then I can 'Zang-Zang' and erase memories.
I won't charge a cent for it.
Or maybe I would charge when I am really broke. Hee.

If only I could have one!

I know what I want to give each and everyone of you.

Haha.

First.
I would 'zang zang' all NY-p students.
To make all of them join the team.
And drive the DDD into them.
Nice eh.

Second.
I would 'zang zang' the family.
Super Duper NICE!

Third.
I would 'zang zang' all in the financial sector.
Except those I know who are in the sector.
Make all those lose their mind.
And hate their jobs.
Then fresh grads have a good chance.
Haha.
Uummmm... A bit evil.
This way, the economic would die.
Ok lah.
Then only make those working in CitiBank lose their jobs eh.
Haha. Cos they have sucker interest rate!

Fourth.
'Zang Zang' the Goverement!
1. All of us only have to work 3 days a week. (including emergency dept!!)
2. Thriple all of our pay but maintain inflation!
3. Give all of us free driving license.
4. Give us free cars.
5. ...... .....
Actually alot alot more.
But since it is so impossible. Den no point in saying so much seh.

Fifth.
Haha.'Zang Zang' SDBA!
Make them change all the boats to IDBF kind.
Haha. Then we can have IDBF paddles.
Nice eh?

Sixth.
.......... .......... .........
to be continued......

2005-09-11T18:03:00.000+08:00

Falling deeper into it.

Feeling good.

Life is B E A u tiful.

Nice.

Don't ask how to do it.
Ask yourself if you want it.

2005-09-09T23:10:00.000+08:00

strip off your mask.
i did.
therefore things are like that.
and not like this.

2005-09-08T23:25:00.000+08:00

I've finally see your true coulors.
And I regret.
Regret on not listening to those ppl who obviously know better.

I've learnt my lesson.

2005-08-29T10:37:00.000+08:00

Jo.
Welcome to the REAL World.
Where NOTHING is REAL.
And everything is about to DISAPPEAR.

2005-08-28T19:07:00.000+08:00

bugger is very very right.
i won't stop be cos simply i can't.
words of wisdom at these very important times.

but if i were to hang on, i'll confuse myself even further
this i totally dun understand.
in which ways are u confused?

as a matter of fact, i think i m de one who should be confused.
it was only a weekend ago when things were looking up.
and just by a snap of de fingers.
everything is decided. and de case is closed.

no insults to anyone.
but please dun GOD talk me.
cos u urself know best.

like i say. to some ppl.
let's first aim to do wad OUR seniors can.
cos if we aren't even close to them.
wad else can we talk about?

so be cos these ppl can't fight their own battles,
there is a need for de like minded ppl decided to come together?

anyway case close.
a dream for a dream.
bye. forever.

new balance real run.
at de first slope, i tripped and landed hard on de right leg.
and that was it.
i know the knee was gone.

but just keep going.
and u will might just surprise yourself.
and i think i did.

although it wasn't de very best of timings.
but i m glad.
although it is no where close your greatest achievments.

saw his cousin during de run.
talking about a life which does not go smoothly.
wadever lah.
need to let MANY things go. NOW!

went to eva's wedding.
so pretty.
but she looked so tired. tears in her eyes.
so sweet and nice.
there would be someone beside her every morning when she wakes up.

sudden urge.

2005-08-27T07:38:00.000+08:00

looks of disgust.
yucks.

2005-08-26T22:18:00.000+08:00

emo session part 2.
with de same person.
at the almost exact same spot.
different topics. same heart ache.

seniors. juniors.
it takes 2 to clap.
at the end of the day.
it would be u guys rowing.
rowing for nyp.
rowing for the same goal.
it is time to put the differences aside.
and be real clear on wad u wan to achieve.

heart pain

2005-08-25T23:20:00.000+08:00

And yes, I'm pissed off. Because I've sacrificed so much for this, and yet nothing is materializing. I keep telling myself and people that it will happen, but nothing is! <- Rip this off from Reu's blog. So true. So real.

So much talk about it. Some actions.
Dreams and goals might forever be only in words and memories.
So near yet so far.

Opportunity cost to mean the cost of something in terms of an opportunity foregone (and the benefits that could be received from that opportunity), or the most valuable foregone alternative. Opportunity cost need not be assessed in monetary terms, but rather, is assessed in terms of anything that is of value to the person or persons doing the assessing.
<- This is SHIT when we were doing economics in school. But now, everything seems so real and true. We just can't have the best of both worlds.

Cant pair up with the 2 of them lah. Keep laughing and talking lor. And ya, Ben confirm @@ le lor. Am waiting for de 'do not play during trg' mail. haha.

2005-08-24T22:56:00.000+08:00

ish ed ur ogu ub an uhus uch uz de nre ish le hez nna oda ihs ica negn usho huc ipan nre at nem ngda nhze in nme in mne hezn ed iy enr ngwa at enm uha iwe gnix iy eg ad nhec oga nhes me iy izh oya hzen hsa uga usoh ed ah ow uzo ow nipg uno eh nhse ehz ngzo me eh ib ilu hcne ub izh oda in enm gnxi il iza gnxia eix em uji hens em iwe ow uq is ba uha udo gnot ongt dnga uch

Random tots at Random times.
Liars.

2005-08-24T21:14:00.000+08:00

first off day.
spent lying in bed.
freaking cramps.
tot it will be nice to go out n chill.
but. . .

online de whole day.
msn a few person.

it still feels nice to slack eh.

2005-08-22T21:24:00.000+08:00

my shifts sucks to de max seh!
will miss tue land trg.
will miss real run. (not as if i can run)
will miss eva's wedding.
might miss sat's sea trg if ethel does not agree on de shift change.
but changing to my shift on 9 - 4 might not be good enuff too.
how to get change out of de pink dress and reach SDBA before they launch?
abit impossible. sian lah.

and this whole week would be at de payment counter.
one of de easiest, yet i would be stuck there for 1 whole week.
sad case.

can u come and kiss me again?

2005-08-21T23:14:00.000+08:00

i miss you...

2005-08-20T21:50:00.000+08:00

had sea trg today.
before that had a small talking session with ben.
have a clearer idea on wad exactly he wants us to do le.

sea trg.
a few disturbing moments.
a few fustrating sets.
but ok on de whole.

only 2 juniors today.
none on thurs.
although it is comfortable trg with de seniors.
but the alarm should be ringing by now.
approaching danger zone.

y is ny so different from the other teams?
y can other teams always a consistent no. of rowers during trg.
but y not us?
y r there only so much commited rowers?

tmr going to kayak. yeah.
hope that i can wake up lor.

today 4th month le. fast right?
have @@ him or hear his voice for 4 freaking month.
and in a way, this 4 months have passed with me living in a daze.
time to wake up and start going again.
hopefully, this time round. i m ready.

2005-08-18T23:39:00.000+08:00

no one said that forming a team would be easy.
but neither did i know that it will be so hard lor.
instructions from everywhere. but not from de right sources.
dun even know wad de heck should i even be doing?

it is 11.42 now lor. and i should be sleeping le.
but. wad de heck lah.

2005-08-17T20:43:00.000+08:00

Nice ma? With my first pay? Haha. Thinking too much lah.
Work is still work. Getting more interesting, yet tiring. Might be confirmed this friday. Then will get basic pay and all. Fingers crossed.

2005-08-14T21:19:00.000+08:00

Went down to Mac to meet up with Xan, Esther n Jas. Crap alot. Talk alot of nonsense.

Then went over to hereen with Jas to see de Four Skin Bag. Think de yellow is too yellow le lah. Den Jas went off after awhile.

Continue walking around orchard. Then slowly walked over to Bugis.

Oh. Before tat. Was in the train to orchard. With Jas n Esther. When alighting. I saw a yellow bag, de bag tat de both of us have. Den i look up to see who is using it, den i think i recognise the hair cut. Looked again. It was tommy. Look around, den I saw Wina, Elsy and Elvi. Heart beat increase. Look around, no, dun think he is around. Hi. Bye. Den smile abit lah. Haha. Ironic.

Think it did affect me alittle. As much as i try not to let it. Teared alittle. Hai.
Fuck!

Now messenger is going ga ga. Thanks Melissa!

2005-08-14T12:31:00.000+08:00

Trg yesterday was quite slack eh. Cos got new rowers. Debbie and Colin. Debbie was good, considering this was her first time touching DBing.

6 rowers in a baby boat. Heavy boat. But we only did short distance. There is a constant urge to hop into the NY boat lo.

But manage to go over when doing speed works. A few irritating sets. We all know that we can if we want to. Just need to wake up our idea eh. Only did 3 or 4 sets. Den I think ben gave up le.

Witness a small argument when choosing jersey's colours. Always have this problem. Maybe we should just standardise the training jersey too. Just like the competition jersey. No problems at all.

Came home. Bath. Sleep.

Tot the girls not going to kayak. So didn't bother to put up my alarm. And put my phone to silent. Haha. So slept my way thru lor.

Medisave.
Medisheild.
Medifund.
They sound the same to me leh. And I am suppose to know all of them leh. Sian!

2005-08-12T18:50:00.000+08:00

The cute SCDF guy that i like didn't come in today. So sad. Everytime an ambulance drives into ED, I will get so excited. Hee. Let's hope he would appear tmr eh.

Derrick Hoh. Junie's idol got voted out last night. Didn't watch. KO after reaching home last night from trg. Think she started crying or something eh. Den kena scolding from mummy. Siao one lah. I don't rem crying for any idol. Haha. Like what Camay say. Kids nowadays. Hai.

Work getting better. But feeling freaking exhausted le.

2005-08-11T22:51:00.000+08:00

Think the best part of the job are the SCDF guys! Ha. But once i go into BMU, Admission or payment, den I cannot see them liao. Must come up with some plans to stick to reg. Ha. Crap.

Tired.

2005-08-10T23:23:00.000+08:00

Had de scariest dream last night. Dreamt that Junie went away. To a far far away place. Woke up in a fright. And went over to her room to check out on her. Please don't let this dream come true.

Wore the freaking uniform today eh. Weird looks. Tot I look okay when I first changed into it in de toilet. But another few more looks thru the reflections on de glass, and I know that I am wrong lah. Haha. I don't look alright at all lor!

And during lunch, they suggested to go Novena to eat, since we have 1 hour break. Haha. But no way I'm wearing that DRESS to Novena. Haha. So stay in TTSH for lunch instead.

When to counter after lunch. Very exciting seh. Loving it. Haha. And I get to wear a mask. Hee. So nice. Cos my skin peeling off le, and the mask nicely cover up everything.

Only ended work at 1830. Went down to Marina to meet de gals. Still as crazy as ever. Haha. I play a prank on this lady. And she jump. Screaming. Haha. Hi-lar-ious! Her husband had to come over and calm her down.

Work and trg tmr. Sleep time.
Nights.

2005-08-09T22:35:00.000+08:00

can u come to my room tonight and steal away all my uniforms?

2005-08-09T22:30:00.000+08:00

The whole of today was spent lazing around. Nothing much to do. Didn't do anything much too. But freaking restless and tired.

Dreading tmr's work. Cos of the freaking uniform lah. I will get used to it. But it won't be anytime soon lah.

Wednesday plans:
-Work till 5.30pm
-Meeting PZ n MT.
Thursday plans:
-Work till 5.30pm
-Trg till 9pm
Friday plans:
-Work till 5.30pm
-Home?
Saturday plans:
-Work till 1pm
-Rowing from 3pm
Sunday plans:
-Kayak @ 9
-Climbing later.

Short week eh.

2005-08-08T22:57:00.000+08:00

First day at work today. Was pissed when I woke up cos it was raining, and I HATE using the umbrella lah. So I went ard getting ready feeling pissed. But the moment I step out of the house, the rain STOP. How nice eh. I smile. Good start eh.

But no lor. The bus just wouldn't come. Waited like for 20 mins for it lor. So stress. Was fighting with myself whether anot to cab down. But heng, the bus came. And i reach TTSH @ 0815. Good start!

Waited for about 45 mins at the reception before anyone came out to meet us. Then went to collect our uniform. DISASTER! Back to the journey to TTSH. I was in the bus, and saw this lady wearing a pink dress and she looked abit silly eh. And in a way, I was smiling to myself about her uniform. And ppl, guess wad? The uniform that I would be wearing is the exact same one that I laugh at lor. Like wad de right? When I saw the uniform, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry lor. And all of us look so pregnant wearing it. Haha.

Just look at it. So 'nice' right? Standing out 'nicely' from all the shirts.

Only finished work at 1745. Walk fast fast with blistered feets to the station to get to school for trg. Trg abit boring today. Haha. No race no life.

Went to Novena Square's Adidas Factory Outlet. So many things that I want to get with my very first pay. But sadded. Too many in fact.

Den go home lor.

Another dear friend of mine ask. If I get my annual leave or something, would I go over to see him? Hit a freaking raw nerve. It is not a matter of time, otherwise I would have gone during the 3 months of slacking time. It is not a matter of money. But it is a matter of guts. I admit it. I don't dare to do it. I don't dare to go over to see him. Cos I know I would fall in love with him all over again. And I know that it is no longer something that he can returned.

On the other hand, I think I really have been doing very well. My first interview. My first job. I have been doing very well. Being alone. All the first times. Ya. I am coping well. And I am happy. I think.

Tmr is PH. No work. But have been asked to be on stand by. So exciting eh. But don't think that they would ask us to go lah. War on Wednesday. This is something they promise us seh. Yeah. Yeah.

Things I want to get:
1. Crumpler bag
2. Four Skin bag
3. Oakley sunglasses
4. Specs
5. The watch tat I saw @ Bugis
6. Rip Curl slipper
7. Adidas Cap
8. Shoe bag
9. Yellow nike water bottle
10. Adidas shirt
11. Nokia earpiece (someone stole mine, or i just forgot where i left it)
12. Get birthday presents!

Uummm.. actually not alot right? Haha.
Crap. Only work for one day, and already tot of the things that I want to spend on. This is bad, right?

2005-08-07T21:20:00.000+08:00

Woke up at like 7+. Feeling very deprived of sleep. But wanted to row.
Pull myself up and into the showers.
Had breakfast @ macs. Super crowded.

Launch boat @ 10+.
Row for about 15mins, den F***.
Stomachache! Freaking pain seh.
Faster ask hid to row to indoor stadium with me.
To help me look after the canoe while I go toilet.

Spent some time in de toilet.
Puke and all.
Must be de milo lah. Bloody hell.

Went back to row.
Saw Cher.
Ask me to pace with him. Siao one.
Didn't wanted to leave the gals behind.
And was already shagged from the puking to be pacing with him lor.

Row for abit more.
Den we head to the beach.
Taught Jas to capsized drill.
Haha. Kan giong spider lah that girl.
Spend some time playing a fool @ de beach.

Follow hid to 1000m mark and back.
Then pack up le.

Jas den went for her lunch break.
Hid n me headed down to tampines. For Climb Asia 2005.
Saw a few familiar faces. Haha. And that someone. And the other someone.
Had my first 'indirect' kissing with him. Haha.
But it is crap lah. But evidence of it has been framed up.
Rotting in de sun lor.
Totally burnt now.

Think the most exciting part of the whole event was the Dyno competition.
The guys were practically FLYING.
Told hid that they don't have to take aeroplane liao lor.
Crapping lah.
The sun was in our face. Feet getting numb. Need to entertain each other.
The nicest jump should be by tat 10 year boy lah. Give me another few years. Those spiderman now can all retire liao.

Had the most wonderful MRT journey back.
Hid will know why eh.
And that bugger nv help me see which station did he alight at lor.
So now I can't stalk him liao.
So sad. Nonsense.

Tmr working liao.
Excited eh?
Haha. But I'm totally burnt lor.
SianZ.

2005-08-06T23:11:00.000+08:00

Guess sea trg went well today.
Really, u got to believe to make it happen. Just like rowing. Sweet rowing.

Glad that Ben let me cox today.
Standing at the back, you could see many many many things.
How are the better rowers rowing and try to pick up a thing or two from there. Feel the boat's glide 'drop' when there is a drop in power. When seeing the other team being 'tired', and 'attacking' them at the right time. And of course, who are the slackers. So much to learn and to observe, so who say coxing is only about keeping the boat straight?

The girls inspire me alot.
Seeing them throw their body forward for each stroke.
Feeling the power that they put in for the ending charge.
Like I used to say, the old bunch always suprises me.

Mummy say that I've been doing too much dragon boating.
And I should take a break or stop it or do something other than that.
Althought I haven't really took a break from dragon boating.
But don't really think that I would be needing it anytime soon.
The cancelled sea trg last weekend has left me in a daze at home thinking of what to do.

It's not a routine. It's now a part of life.
It's the feeling of fighting for something.
Feeling the boat surge forward with every stroke.
Hearing the girls go crazy at the ending charge.
Working with the people that you so love.

It is something like love.
Yeah. Like what bugger has say to me.
It is like being in love.
Sweet love.
Better than love.

2005-08-06T12:12:00.000+08:00

Wah. Sore throat just got worse.
Kill me can?

2005-08-05T19:50:00.000+08:00

Got a nasty sore throat.
Freaking painful.
But heck, it will be all well tmr.

Still can't walk properly.
Super duper sianZz.

Countdown to FIRST day @ work: 2 days! XD

2005-08-05T13:47:00.000+08:00

Ending my shift in awhile. Lack of sleep. Thinking of my bed and all, but there are so many plans.

Need to go to the temple to pray for the Hungry Ghost Festival. Like so sian right? But. Family commitments I would say.

Actually wanted to accompany Adeline to town after work, but I didn't bring clothes to change. And NO WAY I would wear my uniform to town. I would rather die lor.

The whole of this morning was spent going thru some stuffs. And I think I might have found out something that Jas would be most interested in knowing. Haha. *Evil grin*

Jas, if u want to know, u gotta pay big money to get it out from me eh. Cos I m not giving it to u easily. Haha.

But really, it is top secret eh! Jas, u dying to know right? Ho.Ho.Ho.

Can't sleep well for the past few nights. Keep having flashbacks for the July race once I close my eyes and try to sleep. Why? I've got no idea.
From the point of launching to the very last stroke. Everything seems so clear and so yesterday only.
Keep thinking of the 100 and 1 things that we could do better. And what would be de outcome be if this or that has happen.

I miss rowing yeah?

I know the curret team can achieve so much more. With so many potential rowers and the guidance of the senior rowers, there is no reason at all in not achieving whatever that they wan.
There is Hid, Esther, Melissa, Haida, Jil, Adeline, Camay, Xan, Kylie, Ain, and Cerelia. (Sorry if I miss out any!)
The seniors only can form a baby boat liao. And all of them are good rowers.

Gals, is it getting clearer? It is all within reach.
Just abit more from each and everyone of u eh!

And the new gals. Potential ones. Hardcore ones. Playful ones.
Which ever category they are in, I see them trying. I see them pushing themselves to achieve better. I see them desperately tying to get the stroke right.
And for this, I don't care of they are rowing in their bikinis or sports bra le, but I know they share the same passion as us in rowing. (thou they are still abit noisy lah.) o_O

Haha.

2005-08-04T18:18:00.000+08:00

Sentosa siao one lor.
Work for only 3 hours till 12pm.
Den ask me to go home.
Waste my time lor.

Had a bad fall this morning.
While on de way to work.
Pull my leg muscles or something.
Both legs leh.
Can't walk properly.

Fcuk.

2005-08-04T08:56:00.000+08:00

At work now.
Only manage to fall asleep at 3AM.
Not sleepy, but super duper bored.
Nothing much to do for the next 6 hours or so.
Ya, I really hate slacking. Ya right.

Oh, did I say that mummy SCREAMED when she saw my hair?
Tat bad, huh?
Hai. Super sadded.
She was SHOCKED lah.

Junie is still making fun of it.

Ah boy is trying to be nice about it.

This is why sometimes I prefer ah boy to Junie.

But sometimes, ah boy is also an ass lah. Haha.

2005-08-04T01:17:00.000+08:00

It is 1.16AM, I don't know why, but I still can't fall asleep. And I got to wake up at 6AM for morning shift work tmr. Wad de. Hai.

A certain someone ask me tonight. If Su comes back to me, what would I do?
I replied: Accept him back, NO questions asked.

But I know, this day would not come.

But if it does, I would really open my arms and bring him back to my world. And this time round, I would treasure all the time that we have, not take things for granted and really love him more than ever.

If only this day would come.

It is time to sleep lah. Nights.

Dreamland. This is the place where the DAY would come..

2005-08-03T22:30:00.000+08:00

Thur: Morning shift @ Sentosa
Fri: Morning shift @ Sentosa
Sat: Sea trg @ Kallang
Sun: DB Outing @ Sentosa
Mon: First day @ TTSH

Want to rest well before i start work also cannot seh. Keep getting urgent calls from Sentosa to go back to work.

Then FUN days for de weekends.

YEah? Hai!
In a way i m dreading it, only hid will know y. haha.

2005-08-03T18:37:00.000+08:00

Went down for trg yesterday.
Own timing, Own target, for 6 rounds.
Freaking steps.
And pull up, push up and crunches.
Freaking crunches!
Can't seem to get them right.
Gym.
Pool rowing.

Think ben's new trg schedule will work out just fine.
Everyone will be able to go gym and pool for both land trg.
So ya.

Alumni team.
What started out as a very very great idea, the 'energy' level seems to die off. With only a few rowers coming back for trg, bugger asking wad we doing?
No trainings, No race. <- This is wad he say.
Stress! It always comes down to the commitment level. And things are definitely not easy, with everyone working and all. But it sure-ly can de done de. But need to get boats. Hai. And people!

2005-08-03T01:12:00.000+08:00

Went to Yishun stadium on Mon.
With dollyn.
To do face painting. Ha.
Like wad de heck right?
It was a freaking easy job lah. haha.
Just spray paint on to de kids face.
And only about 2-3 kids came lor. haha.
And got a free tee, watch a free match, free dinner, get to see MANY footballers and earn $20 in 3 hours.
Kylie! I know u hate footballers. Haha. But some are really good lah.

I went to cut my bloody hair lah!
Wad de.
Nothing to say about my hair.
Super sadded.

Went for my medical checkup today.
I love the feeling of de nurse sticking de needle into my arm to draw blood.
Shiok eh! Really lah.
I know jas wun believe de.
Before i went to de nurse, i was thinking, shit lah. pain seh.
But when de nurse stick de needle in. It was really shiok lah!

This is another entry to practise my typing lah. haha.
Sian.

Oh ya.
I dunno why, but to those who ask what is my job, i have been answering that i will be helping moving corpses. And please, ALL OF THEM believe loh! Haha.
Either i m good at lying or that i really look very suitable for moving corpses?
Haha. Even papa believe lor. Haha.

Smart?

2005-08-01T00:13:00.000+08:00

ok. i just made up my mind.
i wun be going for tat interview after all.
cos after hearing de job scope.
it isn't wad i have in mind.
so yah.
i will be on about ttsh.
and make sure that de plans me and za have will work out.
such a relief.
can sleep well tonight le.

i realise. without saturday's sea trg.
i can't differentiate between saturdays and sundays.
keep thinking that it is still saturday.

sorry that i flew jas's kite.
hope she is not tat pissed.
couldn't sleep well cos keep thinking about him and de job thingy.
therefore de headache.
so ya. jazz. i m sorry.

i m angry with junie lor.
cos she got so close to camay.
they got secert. and junie dun let me know.
so sad right.
hai.
and i think she got camay's bad habit of rolling her eyes.
how sad eh? haha.

so long never train liao.
truly miss trgs. haha.
and bugger also lar.

it is times when i m alone at home.
when it is so damn quiet.
and i start thinking.
about him.

and de gang.
de DB gang tat is.
those times when we spent talking crap and laughing to more define abs.
haida, hid, jas n esther.
things are so different now.
it is even so hard to meet up.

and during sec sch.
with lalaball, charmaine n hui xiang.
haha. i dun even know where is HX n C.
only still in contact with lala.
but still, i haven meet up with her for ages.
those days at TBP will always be with me. haha.

memories.
memories are de only things i have now.
yeah. how sad eh.

oh ya. about de BD's celebration at monk's place.
haha.
manage to trick jas in believing that de dog was a sheep.
hai. so smart can tat girl get seh?
some kissing. haha.
i also want kiss kiss.
tonight will be kiss kiss session with pooh bear eh. haha.
siao. crapping.
haha. oh ya. me and hid stuffs LOTS n LOTS of SMRT flyers into camay's bag.
haha. she call n 'scold' me lor. haha.
next time round, i will put wet toilet paper. haha.

at de end of the DB camp.
ben wanted them to think about some ground rules.
and the vision for them team.
de ground rules i will have:
1. no pool rowing in bikinis and sports bra at all times!
2. no screaming
3. no pool rowing in bikinis and sports bra at all times!
4. no talking at all during trg (since they dunno wad is talk softly)
5. no pool rowing in bikinis and sports bra at all times!
aiyah. crap lah.
wad de heck.
i m just practising typing.
for my new job.
haha.

wad de........
i miss u......
do u miss me??
no, i think u dun..
but i hope u do....

crapping.. crapping and more crapping..

oh ya.
i only officially start work on de 8 of August 2005.
which means i got one more week to PLAY.
but de rest of the gang having exams.
no one to play with me.
haha. play with myself lor.
ok. tat sounds abit 'gross'.
haiya.

enough typing.
i know i can do well for de job de.
haha.
yeah.. yeah.. yeah..

i wan to love u!

2005-07-28T23:20:00.000+08:00

Fuck!
The BLOODY letter finally came!

But I'm not complaning eh!

Fingers crossed!
Toes crossed!
Hands crossed!
Legs crossed!
Everything crossed!

Everyone pray for me too?

I really want this.
Really

2005-07-28T22:17:00.000+08:00

Bad menses cramps. This time it decided to prolong it's stay. Cramps for 2 days! That's a first. Hopefully the last.

Things getting more complicated. Exhasuting.

2005-07-25T00:57:00.000+08:00

Artist: Brian McKnight Lyrics
Song: Six Months, Eight Days, Twelve Hours Lyrics

ooooooo...
ooooooo...

Do you ever think about me?
Do you ever cry yourself to sleep?
In the middle of the night when you awake
Are you calling out for me?
Do you ever really miss?
I can't believe i'm acting like this
I was crazy
How I still can feel your kiss

It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away
Yea yea...
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better but it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away

Do you ever ask about me?
Do your friends still tell you what to do?
Everytime the phone rings,
Do you wish it was me calling you?
Do you still feel the same?
Or has time put out the flame?
I miss you...
Is everything ok?

It's hard enough just passing the time,
When I can't seem to get you off my mind
And where is the good hand goodbye
Tell me why...
Tell me why...

Sing it for me....
ooooooo..

Although it is not exactly 6 months, 8 days, 12 hours.
But it just sums it all up.
Totally.

2005-07-24T20:11:00.000+08:00

went to marina south for dinner on sat.
belated BD celebration for jil.
brought bugger down.
not bad for starters.
was a nice dinner.
but BD gal was sitting too far away from us lah.

canoeing for sea trg.
enjoy it.
but i still prefer DBing lah.

went for de DB one day camp.
waiting, waiting and more waiting.
reach school at 0750.
but de acutal program only started more than 2 hours later.
ass.

esther STUNNED me lor. sadded. haiZ.

de first part of the camp was slow.
but after lunch, it was cool lah.
haha.
team Ben Ben came in first.
but not before upsetting some ppl.

they are 2 person that i have respected.
and in a way look up to.
but now.
thanks to themselves.
they make me feel disgusted with their actions.
full of craps.
true colours...........

back aching seh.
sadded.

2005-07-23T00:01:00.000+08:00

if i could die now.
i really would wish tat i could just close my eyes.
not thinking of anything.
and just die.

wad de heck.

surprise. surprise.
wad de heck. wad de heck.
i m really surprise and shocked!
haha.
wadever lah!

btw, catherine lim!
i really dunno wad de heck u r thinking seh!
maid abuse!
wad de..
wad r u thinking seh..

2005-07-22T20:23:00.000+08:00

right. de net is back.
but i need my phone.
no.
i WANT my phone lah!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!
i WANT my phone!

2005-07-22T17:50:00.000+08:00

hp gone.
internet gone.
can life get any worse?
fuck off!

2005-07-19T22:48:00.000+08:00

hopefully it is be cos of the cold weather..
can't walk properly..
hopefully it is due to de weather eh..
or else.. ..
WTF lah.

2005-07-18T16:06:00.000+08:00

Your Birthdate: March 1

Your birthday suggests that are executive ability and leadership qualities in your makeup.
A birthday on day 1 of any month gives a measure of will power and self-confidence, and very often a rather original approach.
This 1 energy may diminish your ability and desire to handle details, preferring instead to paint with a broad brush.
You may be sensitive, but your feelings stay rather repressed.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

2005-07-18T00:59:00.000+08:00

F lah.
it's only monday!
can time pass faster?!

2005-07-17T22:17:00.000+08:00

slacking.. slacking.. and more slacking..
went for sea trg.. only get to row for once..
ade as coxswain.. haha.. told her that she can be coxswain for the alumni team.
might not have enough rowers for the alumni team.. sadded..

went for career fair. super letdown.
waste of time and fare loh. bugger!

oooo.. and the chain broke le.
told myself few weeks ago that if de chain breaks, everything will end.
now.. ?? ??
heart sank when it broke.
WTF!
F lah! hai.
sadded.